Trying to Re-Enter the World Again

Reentry Definition

  • The act or action of reentering.
  • The return of a missile or spacecraft into the atmosphere. 
  • The act of rejoining as a participant or member. 
I don't have but one regret from the many years Don and I were together. My regret is that I didn't maintain friendships.  For so many years (before and after Cancer diagnosis) it was just Don and I. We didn't go out with friends. We had acquaintances and friends we would see at native socials, but no close friendships.  Don was only home on the weekends and I just wanted to be with him since we were not together during the week.So, I neglected those friendships for years and I regret that.  I am in the Reentry phase of widow life. I am trying to reenter a world I haven't been a part of.  I am trying to find friends to do things with and become social again. It is hard.I am 42 and all of my old friends are either married or have little kids.  I have neither, so I am an outcast. I can't do the double-date thing with them and their spouse and I can't really do the kid thing either. I do have Audrey, so the kid thing might be feasible. But, I don't know where I fit in anymore in this world of adult friendships.Reentry is hard. I am getting to a point where I am lonely for friendship.  I am not interested in dating, I just want to find some people to hang out with. I want to laugh again and have a life outside of work and home.I want to once again reenter a world where I am rejoining as a participant or member.It is a new feeling, being an adult and trying to establish old friendships and having the courage to forge ahead with new friendships.Sigh .... never thought that the simple word reentry would be so important to me. Hold so much meaning and be the once thing that I need most in my life. I want to reenter life again and find the joy in little things with adults that I have something in common with.“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” ~ Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934 
 

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