This article was written exclusively for CancerTreatment.net by Gabby Mottershead, a blogger who survived breast cancer and now connects with others suffering from the disease. Gabby shares the struggles of her diagnosis and how she eventually picked up the pieces.
The Silent Killer
I was only 44 years old when I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive type of cancer, known as the ‘silent killer’ because it does not present itself in a lump. I just had thickening of the skin. I was lucky enough to be diagnosed immediately after hospital tests. I have since met other IBC patients who were diagnosed too late, by which time the cancer had spread.
Aggressive chemotherapy started immediately, followed by a mastectomy, radiotherapy, and DIEP flap reconstruction. At the end of all of this, I expected to feel elated and stronger than ever. Everyone kept telling me I was a ‘survivor’ and they were glad I was ‘better.’
But I didn’t feel better. I felt an overwhelming depression and anxiety about doing things I used to find easy. My work was a nightmare, made worse by starting a new job where I felt bullied by my boss. He didn’t understand why I had such a poor memory (I now know that was ‘chemobrain ‘) which of course was made worse by being under stress.
Too Much Stress
I was also living in fear of the cancer returning. I read a lot and went to see therapists and speakers talking about natural healing. I was amazed to meet people who had treated their cancers with diet and lifestyle changes. I learned that stress predisposes the body to a weakened immune system, which can lead to cancer. All this made sense to me. For years I had been a busy wife, mother and senior manager at work, constantly stressed.
I had overcome a difficult childhood, including abuse, abandonment, being in care of the local authority and teenage pregnancy. When I was 18, I met my husband Paul and we had ambitions to own a house. I started work and found I was good at finance and administration.
I worked incredibly hard, and studied at night school. At age 39, I got a role as a director of a large company and graduated with my MBA. To an outsider I guess I looked very successful. The price I paid was a continual feeling of not being good enough. I was in awe of the people I worked with and thought they were all better than me.
Finding Strength
My diagnosis was a chance for me to step off the corporate hamster wheel and re- evaluate my life. I knew I had a lot to be grateful for and that I had to change my lifestyle.
I also started to write a blog. I connected with some wonderful people, many on Facebook, and was amazed to discover that many other women were feeling the same way. Many contacted me telling me how desperate they were to feel good again.
I knew then that I could turn my experiences into something positive. I am a trained coach and NLP practitioner, and helping others to heal helps me to heal. It is a wonderful process.
It has taken me over five years but I realize that today I am a survivor. I have drawn strength from all my challenges and am able to inspire and help other people. I am healthy, loved and at peace.
You can connect with Gabby through her Facebook page, Twitter or website.
