July is Bittersweet

I haven't been great about keeping this blog updated.  I have thought about it, but it seems to take so much energy to update everyone on just me.  Writing and updating everyone on Don was so easy and enjoyable, but writing about myself ... not so much.Blue waters of Bimini, Bahamas.I have been enjoying life. I have definitely been keeping busy! In February I went to Bimini, Bahamas by myself and had a wonderful week at a vegan retreat, Atlantis Rejuvenation Center.  I swam with dolphins, ate wonderful food, enjoyed daily yoga and just relaxed. In April, my niece Kimberly and I flew to Orlando and went to Universal Studios and were nerds and visited the new Harry Potter rides. It was a lot of fun and we loved staying at the Loews Portofino Bay Hotel on the Universal Studios grounds. In May, Erica, Audrey and I went camping at the KOA on Don's birthday. We had an fun cooking s'mores, swimming and going to the Wilderness Theater Drive-In. I have taken weekend trips to Nashville to work at another mall, trip to Virginia to visit family, trip to Illinois to visit the Putnams. I have a hard time with staying home. So, traveling has been a great distraction. But now it is July.  The month I have been unconsciously counting down to. This month marks that on July 7, Don  will have been gone for one year. The first anniversary is bringing up a lot of anxiety as the days get closer. I have survived all of the other firsts and did so by planning on doing something to honor Don on those days. This is actually what I have planned for July 7, 2015. Universal Studios, Orlando trip with Kimberly.When anticipating the emotions of July 7, I knew that it would be emotional and I knew that being at home and going to work on this day was just not feasible. Our little family needed to be somewhere special. So, we are going to Florida.  When we wake up July 7, 2015 - we will be in one of Don's favorite places, Daytona Beach Shores. He loved our summer vacations. We will spread some of his ashes in the Atlantic Ocean, where he loved boogie boarding and we will dine on Alaska King Crab legs and of course drink Coca-Cola and we will laugh, remember and tell stories of the great husband, dad and granddad that Don was.I am getting emotional just thinking of the next 6 days leading up to the 7th of July. I still miss him so much and wish that life would have been different and that I still had him by my side. Some days it feels like more than one year has passed and some days it feels like it just happened.  My heart still misses him and I still find myself wanting to tell him things that have happened in my day. I miss having that person that you get to tell how your day went. I have learned to live without him, but not sure I will ever learn to live without the love that he gave me.I am stronger because I have to be.Love, light and blessings ~SusanVisiting my cousins in Virginia.Pit-stop in Metropolis, Illinois.
 

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